Douglas MacArthur and Harry Truman

    Douglas MacArthur

He was born in 1880. He had two wives and he had one kid. He was a military man at heart. MacArthur was the Head general of the Korean War. He was the mastermind of the Incheon invasion. Was is considered one of the great feats of his military legacy. He put the U.S back on the map with Korean war but he might’ve pushed a little too far. He eventually pushed the North Koreans back into china and he thought that the Chinese would provide little resistance and that use of nuclear weapons would make taking china a walk In the park.

 Harry Truman

            He was born in 1884 in Missouri. He had married Bess Wallace and had Margaret Truman as a daughter. Truman was a supporter of the Korean War since the very beginning. He wanted to blockade Koreas initially with navy but due to a lack of funds they were unable to do that. So Truman called on the newly established U.N to help the weak South Korea out. They did end up helping and even put U.S general Macarthur in Charge of the war efforts. Truman didn’t official call it a war for the longest time because of fears it would haunt him he called it a police state and then he later on fired MacArthur because he was worried that it could potentially cause world war 3   

Xbox One Retrospective

Xbox One Retrospective

The Xbox One came out 501 days ago[1]. The Xbox One has certainly changed my life. It’s the reason I got a job for one. That was a big change but lets get done talking about William.

            The Xbox One had all of the hype in world going for it. It predecessor Dominated North America aside from the Wii but when your talking of the whole 7^th Console Generation[2]. The Xbox 360 was king. The Xbox 360 on a consistent basis doubled the sales of the PlayStation 3. It seemed Microsoft had this bag but in the Video game industry, there is something called the Third Console curse[3] where a company that does well with there second entry into market gets to high and mighty for their own britches. This happened with the N64 going with cartridges instead of the more institutive and effeit CDs and Nintendo giving up on third parties[4] to the wolves. This also happened with the PlayStation 3 it officially was priced at 600 dollars[5] what was absurd at the time. When you consider that the Xbox 360 that was considered its equalivent or even better hardware wise was only priced at 300[6].  

            The “Reveal” of the Xbox One, was a huge a bummer for me. It was terrible amount of time spent on TV, Sports and NFL partnership, it was absolutely ridiculous.  I am a huge Xbox fan but this made me distraught as a fan and a gamer. This was the future of Xbox? There was even a rumor going around after the reveal that Microsoft was going to sell Xbox Brand. You could say I was worried. The reason I care so much about Xbox was because my first console was a Xbox 360 and it my Xbox was my escapism from my parents’ divorce and all the other problems that happened. Then just to see, the future of platform talking how I can change the channel with my voice. I saw more games on a commercial, then I did on the Xbox Reveal and it was an hour long. Then here are my sources about how terrible the Xbox One[7] Reveal[8] was[9].

            Aftermath, this was the worst P.R damage control known to man. Here was one of the conversations between the press and a Xbox One Rep. Press said “I was wondering, a lot soldier overseas want to play Xbox but they don’t have a reliable internet connection what do you say to are veterans” Xbox One Rep said “we have a product for people over seas it called Xbox 360”. This offensive because it implys that the currently serving troops are good enough to play on Xbox One and it also proves that Xbox is represented by a bunch of twerps. A lot of people blame Don Mattrick  for leading Xbox into a full blow nose dive. Xbox fired over 40 people for the Xbox One reveal and public relations disaster but there is one a true savior.

            Phil Spencer, is someone I have immense respect for. He took over Xbox when it seemed like it was a lost cause. It had already looked like a failure and it hasn’t even hit the market. Phil Spencer took over between the reveal and E3. Now what is E3 you ask will it’s the super bowl for Video Games. This where all of the New Games get gameplay shown and are annoced. Phil Spencer proceed to go on stage and show a hour and half of video games straight. I was in bliss and I later went out later that day a got a job at the grocery store. So I could get a Xbox One. Phil Specer cares about games and he understands games, Not like Don Mattrick.

            So how is Xbox One doing two years later, well its sold over 10 million consoles and its already outsold the Wii U. its allowed for games to be made that would not have been without the Xbox One existence and it provides thousands of American jobs and millions of people enjoyment.  So next time, you slander a nerd for crying about how his favorite game company closed, just remember how you felt when Friends ended.

            The point of this editorial was to see how the Xbox One reveal affected, its launch in such but I can safely say that Xbox’s future is brighter than ever. I am excited to how the Xbox One Matures as a platform and I have already sunk hundreds of hours in Xbox One and I can’t wait to spend thousands of more.

---

[1] As of April 7^th, 2015

[2] sales in North America: source

[3] Third Console Curse!!! its Real!:source

[4] Third parties: games that are not made by Nintendo but still go on a Nintendo consoles. Such as Madden, Grand Theft Auto, and Call Of Duty   

[5] 600 Dollars

[6]It  was the “Basic” Model

[7] http://kotaku.com/that-xbox-one-reveal-sure-was-a-disaster-huh-509192266

[8] http://www.forbes.com/sites/insertcoin/2013/05/21/microsoft-stumbles-through-xbox-one-announcement-shows-little-answers-less/

 

[9] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbWgUO-Rqcw

 

 

A monologue: Cars

I like cars as much as the next guy but that's not really true because I live in rural Iowa and everyone is a verified car expert but me. Either way the only three things, I know what to do is pump gas, turn the car on and brag about, how my car has V8.

I like how driving cars is usually civilized but the second you hit the highway it's an all-out war. I was driving on the interstate, when I saw a minivan, passing people left in right. This wasn't your usually minivan, it  was repping gold rims and was blaring rap music. “I was like not going to get passed by a ghetto van today” I said to myself. So I sped up and I was going like 90 down the inner state but then people started to pull over to side and then out of nowhere the minivan got pulled over because he was spending right behind me. The lesson is always be in front and don t drive a vehicle with gold rims. Also having a car what looks exactly like a cop car doesn’t hurt in a high speed minivan race.

I am weird when it comes to parking. I can park somewhat decent if I park with two cars by me, I can do it just fine but if I got no cars by me for scale then my parking job is going to be terrible. I can parallel park quite well. The the only reason, I passed drivers Ed, is because I aced the parallel parking portion what counted for 40%. I even got a sarcastic award for "best parking job". I don't want to brag but that's a pretty prestigious award.

My mom always bragged about how my older brother and sister could change a tire at the age of eight. Its not that I don’t understand how. It that’s it really just impossible as far as we know, tires are from a distant land. Sure they were invented by cave men but I never saw them change a tire.

Also on the subject of tires. I was driving down the road when my tire popped I knew immediately something was wrong. I drove to my brother’s house and told him what had happen. He told me to figure it out. Now it was like negative ten degrees outside because it’s Iowa. So I  was sitting out there digging out my car. When I  pull out this wrench thing. He told me that this is what  needed, to undo the lug nuts. I said what are lug nuts. He proceeded to go on a rant, for about 5 minutes about how are generation doesn’t pay attention. I don’t know 100%  of what he said but it started to blank out for me. He said “that I needed a jack and I said like a Lawrence, he didn’t get it”? I tried jacking the cop car up but it was buried in a bunch of snow. I eventually just went back inside. Where he gave me some Yoda advice, on how to change a tire but I failed epically. Also trying to get a jack in the right place is really hard, I don’t care who you are, its still impossible. After two hours I gave up and ended up passing out on his couch. I then proceeded to have a scary dream of car tires rolling after me and eating me with there rim mouth. I woke up to find that the tire was changed with a post it note on it. It said “you only get lucky once punk” –Zander.  This taught me that as long as you are completely incompetent at doing something, your awesome brother who is coordinated will come and save you. The real lesson is hear, is be nice to your brother.

Driving has its downfalls other. Like how when you just want eat that last piece of pizza from Casey’s but you do it anyway. You get all of the dirty looks in the world. Especially in a cop car. Its really bad if you get in a crash and you are totally going to get blamed. Its fair but come on bro, do you not smell that “mazing “pizza sure is it going to kill me twenty years from diabetes  but it’s the best to me on this planet. So sorry I rammed into your Prius but maybe if you didn’t buy a car that runs on the samething my Xbox does, we wouldn’t be having this issue. The key in this scenario is two hope its an out of towner and then give him that fake insurance you printed off week ago from that sketchy website that Craig from accounting sent you too.

The morale of story is that, just because your not a car guy doesn’t mean you cant appreciate the two ton mechanical horse we drive.

The Interview

Jerry Townsend was born April 15, 1955 in Wellington, Ohio. Dad’s role model growing up was his mother.  He graduated out of Mid Prairie in 1973. He had his first kid in 1976 when he was 21. My Dad has taken a variety amount of trips such Washington D.C, Boston and Kentucky.

Dad’s Favorite job was bulldozing. His favorite ride, was his Cadillac.  If you asked dad for his favorite pop, he would tell you Diet Coke. If my dad could have a super power it would be flying. His favorite sports team is the EV bears.  His favorite pets were the two Saint Benards Bubba and Sarah.  If you ask my padre about, what the coolest thing he ever did was. He would tell you that’s there to many to count. Dad’s favorite show is Heat of the Knight. Dad enjoys going to sales in his free time. The hardest challenge my Dad had to face was the 80’s farm crash. My dad says that computers are the biggest tech advance in his lifetime. Dad’s worst girlfriend experience is when “his” girl took off for the weekend with a another guy and left him with her kids, lets just say those kids were dropped off at their grandmas, later that weekend. I asked Dad who was his favorite president of all time and he gave the nod to F.D.R. The biggest life altering event for my dad was changing professions. Dad’s favorite song “In the Ghetto” by Elvis Presley. I asked Dad how he feels 21st century America is doing. He said its doing “alright”. Dads advice to young parents is to think before you act. Where were you ,when 9/11 happened: in the yellow house and doing laundry. The craziest thing Dad’s ever seen is 9/11. Dads advice for younger people is to focus on your studies. Dad’s plans for the future, is to raise his children and make zillions.

-William Townsend

Seal Team Obesity

The year is 2085. The world is a dark and morbid place or should I say morbidly obese place. You see our technology has advanced so much with robots and entertainment. That no one moves anymore, after the zombies apocalypse of 2081. We have a one world government. This one government has no rules against monopolies so the McDonald's Corporation supplies the world’s food. The leader of this government is Ronald Machouse. He has set up a base in Greenland where he lives in a ice cube Fortress. The main area where people live is in Great Britan. Machouse  rules with a iron fist and no one is there to really stop him but one team.

There is a resistance a elite unit called Seal Team Obesity. There were five of them Biggs, Trap,Flop,Brock and me Mcbigity.

                                                                                                                                              

We were the survivors of Zombie apocalypse of 2081. We were trained by United States government. To be a unstoppable force. Are unit was  on the front lines with the rest of the Rangers.It was a bad deal there were just so many coming at us, it took only minutes for the line to fail. After I noticed that all hope was for the rest ranges, I instructed briggs to open a man hole, that was about a mile away. It took him over 4 hours to waddle there, at this point the guys were getting hungry so they started eating dead bodies of people what were in unrealated incidents with shipping containers. I saw a horde of zombies burst threw the wall, when briggs radioed to me that the man hole was open. We ending up rolling are way to safety. In the nastiness of what you call a sewer. Flop heard through radio chatter that the breakout had been caused by a Big Mac. We had always knew McDonald's was up to something especially after they bought chemical warfare company Blackwater. The Squad went through sewers until They hit a brown fall, if you know what I mean. We ending up sending Flop up a sewer Man hole but flop got suck. Me and trap started rubbing fecal water and He fell right out. The Squad Was all grossed out at this point. Biggs ended up planting bombs on the man hole. This caused a massive explosion that caused a huge hole to be there (where a man hole was). I waited about 30 seconds until I started moving forward. Then all of sudden, zombies started pouring in by dozens. I felt like we were in there for days, eventually Zombies stopped coming. Flop started to climb out of the man hole but flop fell back in hole because that's ironic.

We were in a rural area. All you could see for miles was smoke, fires, undead and the occasional siren.

 Trap started saying words I can repeat in a school paper. Biggs tried to calm him down but trap was obviously gone for a while. Who could blame him? I heard a week later that U.S had fallen. The Squad waddled are way to base. What took four years. The whole team had grown beards at this point. Brock was are studly fat guy. He broke open the gate. At this point are team needed to get the White House to talk to Bill Clinton JR who is the 120th president. I was hoping for some answers or maybe if there had been contact from the Avengers.

 

We found helicopter, the cargo one specifically. We couldn't fit in a normal one. We have to hook up the crew with zip line wires. We drove to White House that was burnt to the ground. There was a tunnel though. We oiled flop and sent him down a tunnel. He later found Bill Clinton jr was fight Hillary Clinton his mom. She was referred to as Godzilla in Japan. Either way, he said that McDonald's had token over world or what's left in it. So we ride in are cargo helicopter to greenland. Greenland is a frozen ice cube with Macdonalds fortress that was in the middle. Seal team obesity had a fart to heat converter. They spent two months of non stop farting and got their way to middle of the cube. Then they had to break into the fort. So he planted the bombs on the walls and broke through but then thousands of Ronald McDonalds showed up and  captured them. He captured us, they put us in separate rooms. I was chained up, I had twickle in my pocket. I tweaked on the wall until it, fell out but then Machouse came in. Then said nice to meet you Mcbigity I thought you would died already. Mcbigity panting at this point said you..........su.........ck......... He then thrustered out of chains and stabbed Machouse with the sacred Twinkie, he got from Han Solo. Machouse jokes on you I can see the future and I turned everyone into creatures. Then a bomb went off and everyone was t-Rex's and raptors wait what?